


In One Ear

by raziraphale



Series: ain't nothing in this world for free [2]
Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Agender Character, Alcohol, Anniversary, Established Relationship, Gender Neutral Pronouns for Zer0, Misunderstandings, Other, POV Multiple, POV Outsider, Surprise Party, i accidentally wrote another 5+1 fic for zerhys how on earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 11:44:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20581967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raziraphale/pseuds/raziraphale
Summary: “So, you mean to tell me,” [Maya] said quietly, feeling a headache coming on “That a close friend of yours has been in a relationship for practically a year now, and none of you noticed?”As Zer0 and Rhys come up on their one-year anniversary, Maya attempts to organize a surprise party amongst their friends and fellow Vault Hunters. Unbeknownst to her and the happy couple, however, no one else seems to have actually figured out that Rhys and Zer0 are together.Or: the five times people seemed to come to the completely wrong conclusion about the nature of Zer0 and Rhys' relationship.





	In One Ear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fearless_flower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fearless_flower/gifts).

> hello again borderlands fandom ! bl3 is nearly upon us and I'm coping with my lack of pc by writing dumb fic
> 
> this fic can be seen as a pseudo-sequel to my other zerhys fic, [ ain't nothing in this world for free ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511243/chapters/43869424), but can be read as entirely separate
> 
> this fic is written especially for the lovely [fearless-flower](http://fearless-flower.tumblr.com) on tumblr. I know you've had a lot on your mind franzi and didn't want to bother you with a beta so have this entire fic instead (warts and all)! our chats made this possible so thank you for your friendship <3
> 
> title, as always, taken from cage the elephant, this time from their song "in one ear"
> 
> thank you so much to the borderlands/zerhys fandom for all that you are -- I hope you enjoy !

It all started, as most things seemed to do, at Moxxi’s bar.

Zer0 had just returned from a long mission on the other side of the planet and, deciding to take out two rakks with one stone, dragged Rhys to the bar to catch up while also attempting to drink away the memory of a month of boredom. They still hadn’t figured out what type of drink worked with their biology, but damned if Zer0 wasn’t motivated to find one.

“Excruciating,” Zer0 deadpanned from where they sat across from their boyfriend of nearly a year now, liquid seeming to evaporate into the air as Rhys watched intently, still trying and failing to catch the moment where Zer0 _must_ be lifting up their mask to drink “I spent weeks finding that mark. Over in seconds.”

“I mean,” Rhys said, cheek resting on his open palm “at least it paid well, right?”

Zer0 shook their head slightly, expression unreadable. “Still not worth the time.”

Rhys tilted his head questioningly, causing Zer0 to look away, mask facing the bar. “I found myself… missing you,” they said, quietly.

Rhys blushed, a grin spreading across his face “You’re cute, you know that?”

“I am not cute, Rhys.”

“Could’ve fooled me.” Rhys’ confident nonchalance was marred by his still-reddening face, which was rapidly disappearing behind his hand as he tried to muffle an involuntary giggle. 

The moment ended abruptly as someone slid into the booth next to Zer0.

\- Axton -

After a series of conflicting missions that had him and Zer0 on opposites sides of Pandora for _months_, Axton barely took notice of person sitting on the opposite side of the booth as he rushed across the bar to greet them.

“Long time no see, handsome,” Axton grinned as he sidled up alongside Zer0 in the booth “What have you been up to all this time?”

“Oh, hello Axton,” Zer0 said with deliberate, clipped formality that had Axton rolling his eyes fondly, “Just the usual missions. Only just got back.”

Axton laughed. “Oh, the usual, huh? So, you totally didn’t open another vault a _whole year ago_ without mentioning it?” Zer0 shrugged. Axton gave them an exaggerated pout in return. “I had to hear that from Ellie! And _she_ only heard it from a customer! I thought we had something special, Zer0.”

Axton finally turned to face the opposite side of the table at the sound of an awkward cough.

“Axton, was it?” said the new face, tentatively holding out a mechanical hand in greeting. Axton felt his brain stall for a moment as he took in the man’s features. He was oddly well-kempt for Pandora, with smooth features, neat hair, and clothes that probably hadn’t seen a wrinkle in their life. Instinctively, Axton felt a charming smile bloom across his face as he took the proffered hand in a firm grip.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Axton said, letting his hand linger just a few seconds longer, “and who might you be?”

“He is my partner,” came Zer0’s terse reply just as the man opened his mouth to speak.

“Rhys,” supplied the man helpfully with a small smile, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Partner?” Axton tried to contain his disbelief and knew he probably failed. He knew that after everything with Handsome Jack, Zer0 no longer had (too) many hang-ups about working with others. Axton even considered them a good friend and a colleague of sorts. Still, the idea of a permanent partner just didn’t mesh with his mental image of the assassin. On top of that, the man across the table – with his unblemished face and that damn _suit_ – barely looked capable of opening a jam jar, let alone braving all the dangers of Pandora.

Nevertheless, Axton considered himself to be a nice guy. He had _manners_, dammit. So instead of vocalizing any of those thoughts he asked, “So how did you two cross paths?” He briefly thought of their own meeting – the train crash, and the long road to the vault – and wondered what peril a man in a suit could’ve possibly found himself in.

“It’s… kind of a long story,” started Rhys, blushing for no reason Axton could fathom but damn if it wasn’t doing it for him.

“The Vault of the Traveller,” Zer0 said, as dramatically as was possible in a monotone “We helped open it.”

“Wait, seriously?” Axton exclaimed in disbelief, looking across the table at Rhys to re-evaluate the man in front of him. His mind still came up blank.

“We had met before, but it all sort of… spiralled from there,” Rhys said vaguely, still red in the face.

“Damn,” said Axton, relaxing back into the booth in absence of anything meaningful to say.

Axton hoped this encounter would teach him a valuable lesson about not judging books by their covers, but despite himself he mostly just felt kind of turned on. He leaned across the table, gathered Rhys’ hands where they were fidgeting on the tabletop in his own, and put on his most smoldering expression.

“If you ever find yourself in Sanctuary again…” Axton offered, blasé but for the serious look in his eyes “I’d like to get to know you sometime.”

“Uh,” Rhys stuttered.

Seeing the panic and confusion clear in his eyes, Axton quickly let go of Rhys’ hands, putting his hands up in apologetic surrender. “Sorry, no, I get it. You’re more of a ladies’ man –”

“Ladies-man?”

“– and I understand the appeal myself, but you miss all the shots you don’t take, right? I don’t take it personally,” Axton gave him a friendly smile that he hoped convinced Rhys of his good intentions “If you ever change your mind, though, let me know.”

“I think you should leave,” Zer0 said, voice as sharp and cold as ice. Axton jumped at the sound, and nearly jumped again when he turned to see one of Zer0’s hands hovering over the handle of their blade. “Your interest has been noted.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Axton assured them, sliding out of his seat “Your partner’s off limits.”

“Please don’t forget that.” Zer0 said with cold finality.

As Axton left the bar, moving at an embarrassing half-jog, he had the distinct impression that there had been two entirely different conversations happening at that table. As he rounded the corner towards home, though, he ultimately dismissed it as Zer0 being the same cryptic bastard they always were.

\- Krieg -

Krieg, as usual, was a lot smarter than people usually gave him credit for.

Zer0 and their mystery companion were already seated at their booth when he and Maya walked in looking for their latest reward from Moxxi. Krieg paid them little attention, letting himself wander aimlessly around the bar as Maya did the talking for them. It was easier that way.

He tried to pace out his manic energy, but his body still itched with it, like insects crawling under his skin. His fingers twitched with the desire to just rip them out. He shook his head, just hard enough to feel as if his brain had been scratched against the inside of his skull, calming his raw nerves. That couldn’t be good for him, but at this point he really wasn’t worried about his health. Better to take his problems on one at a time.

“Want to sit down for a bit?” Maya asked with practiced calmness, announcing her presence before lightly gripping his elbow. He nodded, making an indiscernible shout that Maya took as enthusiastic agreement as she gently steered him towards the booth beside Zer0’s. Maya shot them a casual wave in greeting before calling out her order to Moxxi at the bar.

“Sure thing, sugar,” Moxxi said as they sat down, though not without shooting her usual suspicious glance Krieg’s way. Internally, Krieg didn’t blame her, but externally he stuck out his tongue and demanded raw meat, which was about as civil as he could hope for.

Though Krieg was getting better at sitting still, by the time Moxxi returned with Maya’s drink, the entire booth was shaking with the effort. His whole body seemed to vibrate like a buzzsaw, eagerly awaiting his next act of violence.

He was too aware of his own body – the way his muscles clenched and unclenched, the way his skin tightened over squirming, _writhing_ flesh – and he needed a distraction. Thankfully, Moxxi’s wasn’t too busy around midday, but Krieg still felt overwhelmed taking it in all at once. He shook his head again. He had to focus on his surroundings one at a time.

His gaze fell to the booth beside him. From his vantage point, seated at a booth and head-and-shoulders above most people on Pandora in height, Krieg could see the back of Zer0’s head, and the face of their companion opposite. They seemed to be talking pretty intently, though Krieg couldn’t make out the words over the constant white noise buzzing at the back of his skull. Even without hearing what they were saying, Krieg could glean a lot just from the fact that the nervous-looking man in the suit seemed too absorbed in the conversation to notice a six-foot psycho glaring at him a table over. Huh.

Krieg watched as Zer0’s helmet started to glow red with some emotion he couldn’t see from behind. In response, though, their companion in the suit turned a matching red and began rubbing the back of his neck, flustered, embarrassed, _smitten_.

_Well, I’ll be_, Krieg thought to himself. _Looks like the assassin’s found themselves a boyfriend._

Krieg found himself shaking his head again, momentarily overwhelmed with the possibilities that came with the realization. If a professional killer could find love, especially with so ordinary a man as the one seated across from them, there really was hope for the rest of the weirdos on Pandora. Maybe they were all capable of settling down, meeting someone halfway and letting them into their world of blood and violence. Maybe there was someone out there who could smooth out the rough, raw edges of his mind. Maybe.

He turned to Maya, trying to reorder his epiphany into coherent sentences, but what came out instead was, “THE ASSASSIN’S SAVING A SNACK OF RAW MEAT FOR LATER!”

“What?” Maya asked, glass paused halfway to her mouth and she looked at the table behind her, whose occupants didn’t seem aware of the psycho’s outburst. She shook her head, turning around. “That’s just Rhys. He’s Zer0’s boyfriend.”

Krieg tried his hardest to give her a withering look, because _obviously _that’s what he had meant. “A SNACK!” he shouted again.

Maya furrowed her brow. “You hungry?” she offered, confused “We can take off now, if you want. I’ve already got job lined up to take out some bandits.”

Krieg let out a wordless shout, trying to get across that, while that’s not what he was trying to say, he was also very hungry and ready for more action. Maya seemed to get the gist of it, and soon enough they were back outside, off on their next mission, the bar and its occupants forgotten behind them.

\- Salvador -

If asked, Salvador would probably deny ever having met Rhys, despite having been formally introduced.

Salvador just wasn’t one to hang around with the other vault hunters during his free time. He liked them just fine, of course, but the problem was that there was rarely time when he wasn’t doing _something_. If he wasn’t filling his enemies with bullets, he was coming at them with his fists, and if he wasn’t fighting at all he was probably getting blackout drunk, eating, or sleeping. He liked company just fine, provided they were also doing one of those things. He was a man of simple pleasures.

So, when Zer0 introduced Sal to a man in a suit upon their return to Sanctuary, they were already off to a bad start. Sal desperately wanted to either return immediately to the wasteland for another mission or begin living it up in town courtesy of his most recent paycheque. The last thing he wanted to be doing was talking to some person he’d never met before in the middle of the street.

“This is my partner,” Zer0 explained, after the man had met them at the fast travel station so he could immediately slam his face against Zer0’s helmet like some sort of idiot. “We’ve been together ten months. Salvador, meet Rhys.”

Sal squinted up at Rhys, who smiled and waved at him sheepishly. He was tall. Of course, Zer0 was also tall, but they were a robot or an alien or something. They couldn’t help that. Rhys, however, gave Sal the impression of someone who was tall on _purpose_, just to be smug about it. Sal was aware of how impossible that sounded, but he wasn’t the type of man to ignore his gut feelings, no matter how stupid they seemed.

“Pleasure,” Sal said, and promptly forgot about the entire encounter.

\- Gaige -

Unbeknownst to her at the time, Gaige burst right into Rhys’ apartment in Sanctuary.

“Hell_-o_, Zer0!” Gaige shouted excitedly as she kicked open the unlocked door “Maya said I could find you here and I was just wondering –” she paused, taking in the scene in front of her.

The apartment, in its entirety, seemed to be about the size of a shoebox. There was a narrow bed in the back corner, and a small kitchenette in the opposite corner, just to the right of the door. Standing at that kitchenette was the familiar lanky form of Zer0, as well as an unknown man in a suit and tie. Zer0 and the man were standing with their sides pressed together and appeared to be frying eggs.

“Who the hell are you?” Gaige asked the man, always straight to the point.

The man’s eyebrows furrowed. “This… is my apartment?” he stammered, waving his spatula in the air. “I… live here?”

“Huh,” said Gaige, not entirely convinced. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like a douche.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Y’know, like you’re some corporate asshole or some shit.”

The man visibly bristled, gesturing erratically with his spatula. “I’ll have you know that – ”

In one smooth movement, Zer0 removed the spatula from the man’s grip and moved to stand in front of him. With Zer0 right in front of her, Gaige noticed that they were wearing a pink apron. “Rhys likes to dress nice.”

“_Rhys_ dresses like a dad,” Gaige said, this time with a smile directed behind Zer0 so the man – Rhys, she supposed – knew she was trying to rile him up. She looked closer at him and caught the beginnings of a moustache tickling at his upper lip. She snickered to herself. A _dad_.

Zer0 tilted their head back, giving Gaige the distinct impression that they were rolling their eyes. “What are you doing here, Gaige?”

Feeling their exasperation, Gaige decided to cut to the chase. “I just finished a new build of DeathTrap and I wondering if you wanted to compare mettle.” A beat. “Get it? Because he’s made of –”

“I’ll meet you outside.”

Gaige jumped in delight, punching her metal fist into the air. “Awesome! I’ll go wait then. Better hurry though or I’ll go ask Axton instead.” Before Zer0 could say anything else, she had flung open the door and was making her way down the stairs on the outside of the building.

As she made her way downstairs, taking the steps two at a time, Gaige gave a brief moment to wonder why Zer0 was in this Rhys guy’s apartment, _cooking_ of all things. She also wondered if Rhys _was_ actually a dad, or if he had just come into the world already teetering on the edge of a midlife crisis.

These two thoughts, unfortunately, combined in her mind to form one brilliantly stupid conclusion: Rhys must be Zer0’s dad.

The image of an assassin living at home with their dad and making breakfast was so perfectly hilarious that Gaige didn’t even want to consider that it wasn’t true. So, she continued her sprint down the stairs, cackling as she went, while her mind wandered to the next most pressing question: whether Zer0’s other parent must be a stick insect or a praying mantis.

\- Fiona -

Fiona had known Rhys long enough to be more than familiar with his hopeless crush on that Vault Hunter, Zer0, but lately it had been just getting ridiculous.

“So, we were thinking,” continued Rhys, even though Fiona had long stopped paying attention to the words coming out of his mouth, instead focusing on the way he waved his arms around enthusiastically, nearly knocking over his drink “while Atlas is still small – but, y’know, still stable enough to work with – we could move production to a small and less, uh, dangerous planet. Kind of like Helios but hopefully, uh, not at all like that, actually, and –”

“And by ‘we’ you mean… you and Zer0?” Fiona asked again, trying to be gentle but feeling her exasperation starting to show in her voice.

“Yes, me and Zer0!” Rhys repeated, equally frustrated “What part of that aren’t you getting?”

“Okay, okay,” Fiona assured him, putting her hands up in mock surrender “Sorry.”

The two of them were holed up in a booth at Moxxi’s, like they tried to do at least once a month now. Fiona and Sasha had stuck around Sanctuary for a bit while Rhys and Atlas were still finding their feet, but had begun to travel around again once Rhys had found a more permanent place to stay than the floor of the caravan. Between jobs, though, Fiona and Sasha still made the effort to visit. Despite everything, they were still friends.

Fiona sighed, opting for a more honest approach. “I just… don’t want this to end up like it did with Sasha.”

“I don’t know how that’s even relevant,” Rhys huffed, folding his arms across his chest and looking resolutely in the direction of the bar “Sasha and I were never really even _together _together. And I said I was sorry.”

Fiona ignored the fact that she didn’t think he and Zer0 were _together_ together either, but swallowed her biting response to take a different angle. “I just don’t think it’s smart to stake your future business on a Vault Hunter,” she said, “I mean they’re not exactly the most reliable of people, traveling all the time. They live dangerous lives, Rhys – nothing like yours or even like mine.”

“Try telling that to Janey,” Rhys started, only to be met with Fiona’s narrowed eyes. She dared him, wordlessly, to even _try_ to claim that he was half as capable as Janey Springs, or nearly as in love with this assassin character as Janey and Athena were with each other. Rhys laughed awkwardly and didn’t pursue it, seeming to get her point.

A moment passed. Rhys looked almost thoughtful before a smug grin began to tug at the corner of his mouth. “So, you’re saying you’re worried about me?”

Fiona rolled her eyes and heaved a dramatic sigh. “If that’s what’ll make you reconsider then, yes, I’m worried about you.” She gave him a pointed once-over. “There’s only so much trouble a man in a suit should get into in one lifetime and I think you’re already at your limit there, Atlas.”

Rhys huffed out a small laugh but didn’t disagree. “Well, I guess I’m living in the wrong corner of the galaxy, then.”

They sat in silence for a moment, nursing their respective drinks and reflecting on all the events that should’ve prevented them from even meeting today. They were both lucky to be alive.

“Don’t worry about me,” Rhys said with a conviction that Fiona almost believed, “Zer0 can handle anything that comes at us.”

Fiona sighed again but didn’t press it, fighting the urge to pull her hair out and instead took a long swig of alcohol. “Still, be careful, Rhys. I don’t trust them.”

“I do,” Rhys said unquestioningly, the naïve bastard that he was.

\- Maya et al. -

Axton, Salvador, Gaige, Krieg, Fiona, and Sasha were all piled into a booth at Moxxi’s when Maya finally walked up to the table. She had called them all here for a secret meeting away from the other Raiders and Vault Hunters, under strict instructions not to mention it until the time and place of the actual meeting. As she pulled up a chair at the end of the table, their nervous chatter – or, Krieg’s case, outright yelling – came to an abrupt halt.

“Alright, guys,” Maya said, placing her palms down on the table and flashing a small, excited smile “I’ve gathered you here today so we can plan kind of a combo anniversary slash going away party for Zer0 and Rhys. Now, I was thinking –”

“Who’s Rhys?” Sal interrupted, and Maya opened her mouth to chide him when she noticed the varying levels of confusion on the others faces at the table.

“He’s… Zer0’s boyfriend?” Maya said in disbelief.

The table erupted into chaos.

“Sorry, he’s _what_ now?” Axton exclaimed before hitting himself in the face with his palm. He let out a low groan as the delayed embarrassment washed over him in waves. “Their _boyfriend_, oh god.”

“Oh, god,” Gaige repeated, but with an entirely different tone. “I can’t believe Zer0’s dating such a _dad_, gross. I mean… I might’ve thought about it myself but honestly I expected better from them.”

Krieg let out a wordless woop in what seemed to be delight, but it was hard to be certain with Krieg. Sal sat, pressed against his side in the booth, having already tuned out again to what was going on and wishing he was doing something else.

“Son of a bitch,” was all Fiona could manage, shaking her head with a disbelieving smile.

“I believe I called that one,” Sasha told her sister smugly, but Fiona only shook her head more forcefully.

“You did _not_,” Fiona insisted, “just because you had your own little crush on Rhys doesn’t make this entire situation anything short of a fucking miracle.”

Sasha rolled her eyes with a smile. “Harsh.”

“But true.”

By the time Maya got them all quieted down, she was standing up at the end of the table, the hand not resting on the surface of the table pinching at the bridge of her nose.

“So, you mean to tell me,” she said quietly, feeling a headache coming on “That a close friend of yours has been in a relationship for practically a year now, and none of you noticed?”

Silence.

“Well,” Axton started carefully, “Zer0 is kind of a cryptic bastard.”

“And Rhys is kind of just like that all the time,” supplied Fiona, taking another moment to wonder in disbelief how a professional assassin was dating her friend.

“Who’s Rhys?” Sal said again. Maya narrowed her eyes at him, uncertain as to whether he was being deliberately ignorant to push her buttons. She gave up with a sigh.

“I swear, you’d think you guys were the ones raised in a monastery. You all have the emotional intelligence of a skag.”

“You know what, that’s fair,” said Axton, looking very much like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Krieg made an offended noise, but no one took any notice.

\- Rhys & Zer0 -

When Rhys and Zer0 walked into Moxxi’s to find all of their friends in Sanctuary there instead of just Maya, the only thing that let them know it was supposed to be a party was the slap-dash paper decorations covering the bar. The largest banner, hanging right over the counter, read _Happy Anniversary_, while two smaller ones simply said _Good Luck_ and _We’ll Miss You_. The decorations were bright and colourful but in a way that bordered on unsettlingly cheerful.

By comparison, their friends didn’t look to be in a partying mood.

Instead of greeting the guests of honour, they seemed to be silently evaluating Rhys and Zer0 as if seeing them for the first time. Zer0 remained stoic behind their mask, while Rhys visibly shrunk at the attention.

Maya, not having noticed their arrival, was facing the side, caught up in an argument with Gaige, whose eyes flitted questioningly between her and the new arrivals. Maya didn’t appear to notice her silent distress.

“You can’t just ask someone what species they are,” Maya said patiently, as if this wasn’t her first time saying those words “Especially on their anniversary. It’s rude.”

“It is rude indeed.” Zer0 said plainly, causing both Maya and Rhys to jump in surprise.

“Oh fuck,” said Maya, hand resting on her chest as she shot Gaige a pointed look. Relaxing, she let out a breath and gestured lazily to the decorations around her “Happy Anniversary, I guess.”

“Thank you – Maya, everyone,” Zer0 replied, tone carefully neutral as they nodded to each of their friends.

Rhys looked down at the floor, rubbing at the back of his neck before sneaking the other arm around Zer0’s waist “Thank you from me, too.”

Rhys jumped away from his partner when, unexpectedly, everyone in the bar began arguing simultaneously, as if he had accidentally un-paused an argument at its climax.

“He finishes Zer0’s haikus!” Maya was shouting with amused exasperation “How did you not know they were dating?”

“I told you I don’t know!” Axton groaned, rubbing at his forehead as if trying to dispel a memory.

“_This_ is Rhys?” Sal said, glancing at Krieg, looking somehow simultaneously disappointed and highly disinterested in his appearance at the bar.

“THE MEAT SNACK!” Krieg yelled in response, passionate yet completely opaque.

“You’re right,” Fiona said to Gaige on the side, sliding Rhys a pointed look “That moustache _does_ make him look like a dad.”

“I told you so,” Gaige said sagely.

As the party continued to bicker, completely absorbed in their own conversations, Rhys and Zer0 turned back towards one another.

“So, uh, happy anniversary,” Rhys said with an embarrassed smile, reaching out his hand to tangle his fingers with Zer0, who squeezed his palm just a little too tightly in response.

“And the same to you.” Zer0 said simply, a heart flickering to life on their helmet to get the emotion across “Happy anniversary.”

They crossed the room slowly, taking a seat in the same old booth and maneuvering their hands so they remained clasped on the tabletop. With his free hand, Rhys signalled to Moxxi, who had been leaning over the bar watching the commotion with a wry smile. She brought over Rhys’ usual and a drink Zer0 hadn’t yet tried without a word passing between them.

The pair raised their glasses, their faces both turning red. “To another year,” they said together, the clink of their glasses lost amongst the noise from the bar.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading ! feel free to comment with any mistakes I might've missed in my eagerness to share. criticisms of my characterization are also welcome (I'm afraid I'm not too familiar with the other playable characters from bl2 lol)
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated and feel free to scream about borderlands over at my [ tumblr ](http://raziraphale.tumblr.com)


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